646f9e108c A fisherman and his family fight to take down a greedy real estate developer who has released toxins into the ocean, turning the area&#39;s sharks into bloodthirsty hunters. Corporate real estate tycoon Hamilton Lux sets his sights on developing the quaint seaside town of Full Moon Bay into a prime getaway for the wealthy, but runs into some unexpected problems. Lifelong fisherman Daniel Wilder owns property exactly where Lux wants to build high-priced condos, and isn&#39;t planning to sell. Lux secretly laces the local waters with a toxin deadly to marine life, decimating the fishing industry in an attempt to starve Daniel out. Alas the chemical react differently on the area&#39;s sharks, drastically increasing their aggressive tendencies and transforming them into engines of pure destruction moving in coordinated swarms. Without fish to feed on, shark attacks on humans rapidly increase. Lux uses media contacts to paint the attacksrandom incidents. Daniel, his marine biologist brother and a concerned E.P.A. agent must expose Lux&#39;s plan and rid the area of the chemically-altered sharks before the town&#39;s entire population is devoured by hungry sharks. I knew this was going to be a bomb when the first shark attack reminded me of a video game from a few generations back it was so completely phony. Granted it was made for TV so it couldn&#39;t berealistic&quot;Jaws&quot;, but my goodness this is now on my top 10 for worst movies I have ever seen.<br/><br/>The basic premise,usual, is the bad guy, Armand Assante wants to build a multi-million dollar condominium complex in this little town on the California coast. Most of the residents are all for the idea because the &quot;fishing has dried up&quot; and the economy is in the toilet. Only Daniel and his family are holding out.<br/><br/>Apparently The Bad Guy has deliberately contaminated the water to destroy the fishing in the hopes that everybody in the town will wish to sell to him (ho-hum). Unfortunately there seems to be a nasty side effect of this poisonous water: The sharks get bigger, meaner and start bonding together! OMG! Can you guess how The Bad Guy dies at the end?? The scenes were so disjointed; one minute it&#39;s sunrise but in the next scene it&#39;s still dinnertime. These people all knew about the shark attacks; well maybe most don&#39;t because nobody I saw eaten was ever reported missing including a daycare worker and yet THEY STILL GO IN THE WATER! We have people swimming, scuba diving, surfboarding, having a water Baptism, you name it, they were doing it the water. And while it appeared to be cold enough that some were wearing sweaters and wetsuits &amp; you could see their breath, people right up the beach were in bathing suits and splashing in the surf. People are being eaten and murdered and some of the characters start making out after a near death experience.<br/><br/>Have you figured out yet that this is a stinker of a movie? Who makes these things? Worse yet, who approves these movies? A Junior High kid who has played Donkey Kong a few too many times? If you&#39;re desperate to see people eaten by sharks go watch Jaws (the original) and don&#39;t waste 3 hours of your precious life on this drivel. The actors and actresses should not have even got paid for this movie, they should be sending US checks for watching it. Some movies truly reveal the mentality of the gibbering teats that infest IMDb for the most part, giving straight to TV fodder such lowly ratings and savage reviews. You know the type, those that take life way too seriously, and judge every movieif the people making it genuinely believe they are creating a masterpiece. These imbeciles seem to have no inkling that, sometimes, movies are made just because the people behind it think it will be a good laugh to do so. They snort cocaine, smoke White Widow, laugh their anuses off in the concept meetings and churn out something that they know for a fact is a piece of brown, but my Christly Christington they had a whale of a time making it.<br/><br/>So here&#39;s Shark Swarm, a movie that is to Jaws what Dan Brown is to Clive Cussler: a pale imitation. And very enjoyable it is too.<br/><br/>The plot: A shady &#39;A-Team&#39; style real estate developer is dumping chemicals into a bay that, unbeknownst to him, has the side effect of turning the resident shark population into blood thirsty, pack hunting monsters. No-one is safe; bathers, fishermen, surfers.<br/><br/>Well, unless they just stayed out of the water.<br/><br/>You know, maybe just stood on the shore and looked out to sea, admiring nature in all its beauty from the safety of solid ground.<br/><br/>Then they&#39;d be safe.<br/><br/>I don&#39;t know, maybe they could head to Starbucks, grab a take-out skinny mochachino with extra choco flakes and sit on the beach reading a good book, chatting to their friends, maybe even listening to some music on their MP3 players.<br/><br/>Then they&#39;d be safe.<br/><br/>Just don&#39;t go in the water people. Don&#39;t go anywhere freakin&#39; near it. It&#39;s full of things that want to kill us, at all times, not just when sharks mutate but, every second of every God given day there&#39;s things in there with big teeth and poisoned prongs and body parts I can&#39;t even identify that cut and slash and gnaw. Poisonous, deadly demons with the capacity to exist underwater that hate us, absolutely hate us, and take any opportunity they get to pierce us or slash us or eat us with their huge, tooth-filled mouths.<br/><br/>Just stay away from the water, folks, if it&#39;s the last thing you do. The things in there HATE US.
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372 weeks ago